Most communication resembles a Ping-Pong game in which people are merely preparing to slam their next point across; but pausing to
understand differing points of view and associated feelings can turn apparent opponents into true members of the same team.

Unfortunately, in too many business, educational, and other settings, there is never an opportunity for feelings to be expressed and heard, so they build up to the point that people have no capacity to focus on the business at hand.
There is too much emotional static in the space. It’s like trying to put more water into a glass that is already full. There is nowhere for it to go. You must first pour out the old water to make room for the new water.

It is the same with emotions. People can’t listen until they have been heard. They first need to get whatever is bothering them off their chest.
Whether you are someone who has just come home from work, a parent looking at your child’s repport card with all C’s, a salesperson attempting to sell a new car, or a CEO overseeing the merger of two companies, you first need to let the other people speak about their needs and wants, hopes and dreams, fears and concerns, hurts and pains, before you talk about yours. It opens up a space inside of them to be able to listen to and take in what you have to say.

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